On the University Budget Cuts

may be the only rational response
to zombie assassins who destroy
our courses and devour

what we love. We’ll pull them
out of their swanky second-floor

offices and stuff words
down their throats until they

gag and beg for copies
of the OED or Barron’s

500 Spanish Verbs. We won’t
oblige them. Their zombie

flesh will fall off their bones
and the bones will be

reborn as medieval monks
copying and recopying Socrates

in Latin: Nihil nisi cogitare docere possum.
And that’s not all:

When the monastery walls start to crumble,
copying Plato will be added to their work

load, which they will perform
cheerfully on one-year contracts.

Their cells will be given
to an increasing number of Abbots

who transfigure into giant amoeba
that slowly absorb them, body

and soul. This time, their bones
won’t be reborn. And neither

will their souls. Their swanky, second-floor
offices will forevermore house books.

About the Author

Laura C. Wendorff is professor of English, Ethnic Studies, and Women’s and Gender Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Platteville. She has been published in several journals, including After the Pause, Bluestem, Foliate Oak Literary Magazine, Minetta Review, Sanskrit Literary-Arts Magazine, Spillway, Temenos, and Wisconsin Poets Calendar. Wendorff’s essay “Worth The Risk: Writing Poetry About Children With Special Needs” was nominated for a Best of the Net Award and the Pushcart Prize.