You are Cordially Invited to Elika Strauss’ Birthday Celebration

Scene 1 – ELIKA 8
It is a full blackout. A series of tableaus in the light,
occurring faster and faster, depicting the TWINS in comically
disturbing and hyper-theatrical poses. Eerie music crescendos
and speeds up until the stop, when lights are up on ELIKA. The
audience can clearly see the TWINS in the back as ELIKA speaks.
ELIKA
ELIKA sits down in CS, facing US, to watch as the TWINS find
their beginning spots. They perform “Happy Birthday.” ELIKA
applauds them along with the audience. They exit the stage
together.

Scene 2 – ELIKA 9
ELIKA
It’s my birthday. My ninth. My older twin siblings said that
they polished their routine so they’re performing it as my gift
again this year. I’m not complaining, though. I’ve been trying
to learn it myself. It’s pretty impressive stuff.

ELIKA sits down to watch in the same place as the TWINS find
their beginning spots. They begin to perform “Happy Birthday”
slightly more enthusiastically than before. However, at “Last
year you were a year younger,” ELIKA begins to sing along and
tries clumsily mimicking their dance steps. Music cutoff and
new, harsher, brighter lights.

TWIN 1
What are you doing?

TWIN 2
You could have ruined our performance.

TWIN 1
She DID ruin our performance!

ELIKA
Sorry, I didn’t mean-

TWIN 2
It might be your birthday, but we still sing and dance as we
please. You cannot stop us.

ELIKA
I didn’t! I just-

TWIN 1
One of these years she’ll finally get it right.
TWIN 2
Right.
TWIN 1
Right.
The TWINS complain about Elika to each other in quick,
unintelligible stage whispers
ELIKA
Excuse me? Are you listening to me? Are you even here?
TWIN 2
Oh, you’re still here.
TWIN 1
Can you not be, please?
(ELIKA exits)
TWIN 2
Finally.
At blackout the TWINS continue whispering.

Scene 3 – ELIKA 10
The TWINS flank ELIKA uncomfortably closely.
ELIKA
It’s my birthd-
TWIN 1
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ELIKA
My birthday. I’ve turned-
TWIN 2
YOU ARE TEN.
ELIKA (sighing)
Thanks. I’m ten. My ol-
TWIN 1
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIKA.
TWIN 2
YOU’RE TEN YEARS OLD TODAY ELIKA.
ELIKA
You know, I just want to say I don’t need this. I can handle my
own-
TWIN 1
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYY.
ELIKA continues her monologue, ignoring the constant
interruptions from the TWINS.
ELIKA
I can handle my own life now. You’ve made your point. Are you
seriously going to just- ugh. Why do I talk. You have a show.
They have a show, everyone, so I am going-
ELIKA tries to sit down on the floor like before, but TWIN 1
grabs a chair, facing the house, as TWIN 2 grabs her and forces
her in it.

ELIKA (cont’d)
-to SIT DOWN and NOT GET UP and JUST. WATCH. IT
TWINS
Enjoy the show. Happy birthday, you’re ten!
They perform stiffly, facing upstage (towards ELIKA). They hold
the last note in harmony as ELIKA gives a sarcastic golf clap.
The TWINS drag her off. ELIKA protests, but does not leave the
chair.
Scene 4 – ELIKA 11
ELIKA
It’s my birthday. I am now eleven years of age. My older twin
siblings have made their show a tradition. I don’t mind, they
worked so hard on it. Here it is.
They begin “Happy Birthday.” At the second “Happy birthday,”
ELIKA interrupts:
ELIKA
I know the song. I know the song. I know the song. We keep
coming back here! I know it!
TWINS
She doesn’t know. So many new things out there to see, ELIKA.
ELIKA
She knows the song.
ELIKA hums the beginning tune, but within a few seconds
TWIN 1 has grabbed her by the hair and TWIN 2 slaps her.
Big beat. She pushes the TWINS off her and they move in
reverse back to their spots before ELIKA’s line, a time
warp. Rewind sound during the warp.
TWINS
She doesn’t know. So many new things out there to see, ELIKA.
ELIKA
She will learn it. I will learn it.
Scene 5 – ELIKA 12
TWINS
IT’S ELIKA’S BIRTHDAY. SHE IS TWELVE. SHE HAS A SHOW FOR
US. COME ON OUT, HONEY!
ELIKA enters her beginning pose and the TWINS coo and fawn
like proud parents at a dance recital. ELIKA performs
“Happy Birthday” but keeps losing control of her body and
voice. She knows it all, but somehow fails. She doesn’t
have their stamina. The TWINS express extreme, genuine
nachas throughout the entire performance. They end with a
standing ovation as ELIKA looks drained, exiting
resignedly. They keep applauding, aimed at the empty space
where ELIKA stood before she left.
Scene 6 – ELIKA 13
ELIKA
It’s my birthday. Thirteen years since my escape from the
womb. My older twin siblings have this family tradition
where they perform a show for me every year; it’s my
favorite part of the celebration. Enjoy!

The TWINS perform. After “grow,” ELIKA begins her
monologue. The TWINS continue performing at the same
volume, ignoring the interruption. When “Happy Birthday” is
done, the TWINS sit in the audience and watch ELIKA lip
sync to a recording of the monologue. Nobody acknowledges
the unintelligible cacophony of their overlap.
ELIKA(‘S RECORDING)
This is the one time a year where I feel like they care
about me, honestly. They never put these theatrics on like
this. I mean, they’re connected in a way I will never fit
in! It’s… isolating, you know? I miss them. It’s weird to
miss somebody you’ve never had a connection with. I miss
what I imagine our relationship could have been? I don’t
know. They’re so clingy and codependent and I’m just… here.
I’m here. And they are somewhere else entirely, with no
intention to move, so… I have to find them. I have to find
you here.
Scene 7 – ELIKA 14
ELIKA
It’s my birthday. Fourteen, a pre-teen. What a-
The TWINS rush back onto the stage from the audience, flanking ELIKA
TWIN 2
What are you doing, ELIKA?

TWIN 1
What are you saying, ELIKA?

ELIKA
It’s my birthday. Fourteen, a-

TWIN 2
No, it’s not.

TWIN 1
It is not your birthday. We celebrated your thirteenth birthday
last week.
ELIKA
You’re wrong. I want my birthday now.
TWIN 1
ELIKA, ELIKA what are you doing…
TWIN 2
Please don’t do this, ELIKA. It’s not your birthday, okay? It’s
not your birthday.
TWIN 1
You were thirteen years old yesterday and you’re thirteen years
old now , so you can’t, you can’t do this today. It’s not today.
TWIN 2
You are not here today, ELIKA. Please.
ELIKA
I want my birthday present.
TWIN 1
Please, ELIKA.
ELIKA
Do it. I want to see it again.
TWIN 2
Not now, ELIKA. In fifty-one weeks.
TWIN 1
Don’t do it. ELIKA. ELIKA? ELIKA please!
ELIKA
My older twin siblings-
TWINS
FUCK!!!!
ELIKA
-have a family tradition of putting on a show every year.
TWIN 2
Please, ELIKA!
TWIN 1
This is not right. It’s just not right.
ELIKA
About the Author

Hannah Weisz (any pronouns) is a high school junior based in New Jersey. Weisz has been involved in theater, mostly on the performing side, since as long as they can remember. Some productions include: She Kills Monsters (Tilly Evans), Don’t Tell Mama Cabaret (Ensemble), The Music Man (Harold Hill), Twelfth Night (Olivia), The Addams Family (Grandma Addams), Catch Me If You Can (Agent Branton), Disney World Performing Arts (Dance Ensemble), Cinderella (Prince Charming, ballet), Sleeping Beauty (Suitor of the North, ballet), Swan Lake (Ensemble), and A Magic Trash Can (Cameron Mitchells, co-writer). Outside of theater, Weisz enjoys creative writing, cosmetology, arts administration, and drag!