Characters: Basil, an accountant in his thirties. Arrogant, unliked by every other character, and too confident in his bowling-with-a-broken-arm skills. Leila, a recently promoted marketing manager, also in her thirties, who engages in arms dealing on the side. Married, unhappily, to Basil. Kensei, a semi-impulsive fellow arms dealer. Now Leila and Basil’s neighbor and the greatest threat to Basil’s masculinity. Finn, a nervous and relatively sweet fellow arms dealer. Easily intimidated, just not by the idea of murder. Maisie, sister of Finn who works in packaging at the same company as Basil. Not very happy about her financial situation compared to the others. All characters are in the late 20s/early 30s. Leila is Turkish American, Kensei is Japanese American, and every other character has a flexible ethnic background. Scene One: Outside the Bowling Alley [The sound of arguing begins off stage. Car doors close — three in total — while the stage is still unlit.] KENSEI We could have so easily just had MAISIE This entire thing is so unnecessary. FINN Guys, I’m sorry, I just wanted to [The stage lights up. Three friends, KENSEI, MAISIE, and FINN are walking towards the entrance to a bowling alley. It’s clearly run down, a local alley instead of a popular chain. They stop a bit from the entrance, waiting for the other two in the group.] KENSEI Do you really think he’s the type FINN Yes. KENSEI Well thanks to you and your FINN The man broke his arm, how was I MAISIE I don’t know, maybe because it’s FINN Okay, okay, fine! I’ll take the [FINN enters the bowling alley, leaving the other two waiting.] MAISIE (mimicking Finn’s voice) KENSEI (also mimicking Finn’s voice) MAISIE I truly do not know how Leila has KENSEI Have to admit, I expected her to MAISIE Think she found another man? KENSEI Maybe. [The sound of a car pulling up. KENSEI and MAISIE look over and start smiling to the sound of more closing doors. LEILA and BASIL enter, the latter with his arm in a cast. The two pairs greet each other as friends] LEILA Kensei, Maisie! MAISIE Leila, you look stunning! But why LEILA Didn’t have time to change after BASIL Kenny, my boy! KENSEI Basil, how’s the arm doing? BASIL Much better! Doctor says the cast KENSEI Mm, maybe listen to the BASIL Where’s Finn? MAISIE Inside, he’s getting everything set up. BASIL I’ll be honest, I don’t think I [KENSEI, MAISIE, and LEILA all give pained smiles. BASIL takes LEILA’S hand and starts walking to the door.] BASIL Let’s get going then! [KENSEI and MAISIE follow a little behind.] KENSEI (quietly to MAISIE) END SCENE. Scene Two: Inside the Bowling Alley [The lane itself is offstage, but the benches to wait arevisible on stage. You can see the end of the bowling ball machine, but when someone is up to bowl, you wouldn’t be able to see them in action. Actors should be seated to where everyone is visible when they are seated – arrange the seats as necessary. FINN is already wearing his bowling shoes and has his ball in the machine (not visible). The table in front of him has a large bowl of popcorn. FINN Hey Basil, hey Leila! BASIL Hello, hello! Everything all paid up? FINN Yeah! Shoes are covered too, just KENSEI (motioning discretely for FINN With him here? Are you crazy? LEILA Kensei’s right. I can’t stand him MAISIE Look I hate the guy too, but how do KENSEI Well every time he goes up to bowl, FINN Guys, you’d better go get your [MAISIE, KENSEI, and LEILA move offstage. FINN fiddles with the console to finish setting everything up. BASIL joins him first, having retrieved his shoes and ball] BASIL Where did you find that coupon, eh? FINN Came in the mail. Real good deal. BASIL Hey, I wouldn’t miss time with my [BASIL is distracted by the other characters returning to the seats.] FINN (aside ) LEILA Finn, have you already set up FINN Yes! Okay so I put in all the names BASIL Excellent. Be prepared to get your [BASIL leaves the stage to bowl. He will not return until his turn is over – this is how it will work for all the characters when they go up to bowl.] MAISIE We need some conversation as a front. KENSEI Alright, what fun things have FINN Oh Leila, your promotion! We can be MAISIE You got promoted? LEILA Yes, I did. Just yesterday, actually. KENSEI Congratulations! What’s your new role? LEILA Marketing Manager. Same department, MAISIE That’s amazing, good for you! [BASIL returns.] BASIL Did you all see that? Pretty good LEILA Wonderful, dear. My turn then? [LEILA leaves.] BASIL (sitting) KENSEI Leila’s promotion. That’s amazing, BASIL No, not really. MAISIE Oh, you should treat her, get her BASIL You think so? MAISIE Of course! You got to show a BASIL Hm yes. My successful wife. My [MAISIE, KENSEI, and FINN all look startled. Before they can say anything, LEILA returns and takes a seat. BASIL makes no KENSEI Uh…my turn I think. [KENSEI leaves.] MAISIE Leila, we were just talking about LEILA Oh? That would be nice, it’s been a BASIL Well tonight you’re bowling for MAISIE Basil, that’s no way to- [KENSEI returns] KENSEI Maisie, you’re up. MAISIE You’re back already? KENSEI Got a strike, what can I say? [BASIL gives KENSEI a distinct look as he sits. MAISIE rises and leaves.] FINN So Leila, do you get more time off LEILA I do, actually. An extra week, KENSEI Are you gonna spend it all at once LEILA Probably all at once to visit home BASIL If it gets too pricey, you can just FINN Aren’t you married to her? Why LEILA Basil, what do you mean she has [BASIL gives a smug smile, shrugging as MAISIE sits back down. FINN hops up and leaves for his turn.] BASIL Alright friends, I’ve been waiting LEILA Basil, you’re acting really BASIL Maisie, I know this is going to MAISIE Finn? What’s wrong with Finn? [FINN returns, grinning.] FINN I got a strike! I got a strike! BASIL (feigning happiness ) [BASIL leaves.] KENSEI Guys, what was all of that about? FINN Huh? LEILA I genuinely have no clue what he’s FINN What do…is there? LEILA Basil was just insisting there was FINN Um. No, I think I’m fine. MAISIE We can deal with whatever Finn’s EVERYONE Shhhh! LEILA But you’re right, you’re right. KENSEI Leila, you said you wanted him gone LEILA If possible. Otherwise I might just KENSEI Well don’t do that. We’ll plan it LEILA Thank you all for helping by the KENSEI You’re essential to the team, of FINN And business aside, you’re our MAISIE Leila, I love you, and this was all [BASIL returns. LEILA leaves.] KENSEI Alright Basil, you have to tell us BASIL (playing innocent) MAISIE Leila is cheating on you? BASIL Oh that. I’ll be honest, I can’t MAISIE How so? BASIL Hard to explain. I just feel like FINN Well maybe she just doesn’t want BASIL A fair point, yes. But then why [LEILA returns. KENSEI reluctantly rises and leaves.] BASIL (again, pretending the LEILA Huh? BASIL Boasting his bowling skills as MAISIE Sorry, who’s the best bowler here? BASIL Me, obviously. MAISIE I thought you said bowling wasn’t BASIL It isn’t, but I’m clearly the most LEILA Okay well whether or not that’s BASIL Okay, maybe he didn’t directly FINN Wouldn’t that be because of your uh BASIL Exactly. [KENSEI returns. MAISIE looks confused as she leaves.] KENSEI Okay Basil, she’s gone. What were BASIL Tell me, what does Maisie do for a FINN She works at the same company you LEILA She works in packaging with BASIL She works in packaging. Packaging. LEILA What the hell? Why are you so BASIL What can I say, I’m a curious man. KENSEI So you are saying she has another BASIL No, see I did a little bit of LEILA I’m sorry, you’ve been “digging” in BASIL (ignoring her) KENSEI (muttering) BASIL -but then I noticed something else. [MAISIE returns. FINN leaves.] BASIL As I was saying, Maisie, be [There’s a beat before the other characters react, all doing their best “shocked” face.] MAISIE What? What would make you think BASIL Well it started with a hunch, a LEILA A gut feeling that sweet Finn who BASIL My gut has been right about a lot KENSEI Okay okay, so you had your gut BASIL Then I logged into his email. LEILA You WHAT? [FINN returns and BASIL leaves.] KENSEI I cannot wait for that guy to be FINN Did you figure out what he thinks KENSEI He knows your…affiliations. FINN Oh. Does he know about the rest of you? MAISIE Didn’t give any indication of it. FINN How did he find out? KENSEI Something about looking at your FINN WHAT? MAISIE Are the rest of us safe? What do we KENSEI Well we need to figure out how he [Everyone nods except for FINN. Everyone turns to look at him.] FINN Okay look, I already had all my LEILA How easily guessable is your FINN Well, uh, what constitutes easily KENSEI It’s “password,” isn’t it? FINN …very easily guessable. [BASIL returns. LEILA leaves.] BASIL Do any of you know what else she FINN Huh? BASIL Leila. Do you think she’s actually MAISIE Look, Basil, why don’t you just ask BASIL And if she gives me some answer MAISIE I don’t know, I think that’s pretty BASIL Maybe I should hire a private FINN That’s a little much, don’t you KENSEI This is probably all just coming [LEILA returns.] FINN Strike? LEILA Strike. [KENSEI leaves. There’s a moment where everyone looks at BASIL, who has begun chewing on popcorn.] BASIL What? MAISIE Are you going to tell us how Kensei BASIL Ah, right. I bet you all believed I LEILA Seeing as that’s what you told all BASIL Well, I did. But did you know that LEILA I…did not. BASIL Well, I hadn’t even planned on FINN I regularly forget y’all are BASIL Anyway, he beckons me over and [Kensei returns and BASIL stops mid-sentence. With a huff, MAISIE leaves.] BASIL So like I was saying, I noticed LEILA Which, again, you should not have BASIL Maisie began receiving massive sums [The other characters pause at this. All the gears in their heads are turning.] LEILA Basil, have you been doing anything BASIL Questionable, maybe, but not KENSEI Why are you telling us this? BASIL Well, I think Maisie might be the [MAISIE returns.] KENSEI Strike? MAISIE Strike. [FINN fist bumps MAISIE as he leaves.] LEILA Basil, how did you get into Finn’s BASIL Guessed the password. LEILA Right. Because that’s something you MAISIE I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. BASIL I think learning about organized KENSEI And you found something in there BASIL Yes. I found a draft email that he [FINN returns. BASIL leaves.] KENSEI Finn, you dumbass, he logged into FINN Ah shit, I know exactly which one. LEILA Oh Finn, I’m so sorry he did all of this. FINN Well what do I do now? KENSEI It’ll be fine, you won’t have to MAISIE You guys, we need to actually plan EVERYONE Shhh! MAISIE We’ve wasted three frames, we’re LEILA Right. So this week, preferably KENSEI I’m getting a little concerned with LEILA He’s just paranoid, he’s always MAISIE Wait, “you guys”? Has he been KENSEI …and me? [BASIL returns. LEILA quickly goes to take her turn.] BASIL Gonna run to the bathroom real [BASIL leaves. MAISIE and KENSEI look at FINN.] MAISIE Finn. Has he been talking about me? FINN It’s not important, he’s been MAISIE Well, he’s right I guess. Has he FINN Unclear, he wastes so much time in KENSEI And what about me? What has he been MAISIE He thinks you sabotaged him or [LEILA returns.] LEILA Where did Basil go? KENSEI To the bathroom. Normally, I’d say [KENSEI rises and leaves.] MAISIE Leila, look, I need to be honest LEILA What? MAISIE Yeah. Apparently he’s been telling LEILA Why would he think I’m cheating on MAISIE He thinks it’s weird that you go LEILA (almost muttering to herself ) [KENSEI returns. MAISIE rises and crosses him before he reaches his seat.] MAISIE (murmuring to KENSEI ) [KENSEI says nothing as he sits, MAISIE leaving.] KENSEI Do you think Maisie’s been holding FINN Why would you think that? KENSEI Another sum of money coming in? Do LEILA I have no clue. FINN Me neither. LEILA It’s a bit suspicious that her own FINN I don’t know, maybe it isn’t KENSEI Or maybe Maisie is involved in LEILA Keeping us in the dark… FINN Come on, that’s my sister. Do you KENSEI Who knows? [MAISIE returns. FINN slowly stands and leaves, throwing an uneasy glance back at his sister. BASIL returns as well.] BASIL Ah, perfect timing. [BASIL pulls out his phone and swipes through to find something in his camera roll. He hands the phone over to whoever is seated in the middle of the group and the other two lean in to read as BASIL keeps speaking.] BASIL As you can see, he references an MAISIE I don’t know, I think this is a bit [BASIL takes a long look at her, clearly analyzing. MAISIE looks concerned as she meets his eyes. LEILA notices and takes the phone, handing it back to BASIL.] LEILA Well what do you plan on doing with BASIL (snapping out of it ) [FINN returns, BASIL leaves.] MAISIE Why did he look at me like that? KENSEI If he’s smart, he’s connecting the LEILA You two being siblings doesn’t help FINN So now Basil thinks Maisie’s KENSEI He might. Maisie defended you, he MAISIE This is ridiculous. Everything is FINN Well is it really ridiculous if MAISIE We need to kill him fast before he [BASIL returns. LEILA leaves.] BASIL Friends, I’ve been struggling with [All three stare at BASIL, unsure of what to say. The uncomfortable silence extends for a few beats.] BASIL I take it you can’t think of any [They all immediately start nodding along.] BASIL I make good money – MAISIE (aside ) BASIL – I’m a great looking guy – FINN (aside ) BASIL – And I have an incredible [KENSEI laughs audibly. He then stops as the others look at him, BASIL offended and the other two in surprise at his boldness. LEILA returns. KENSEI clears his throat and leaves.] BASIL That man is the bane of my LEILA Right, yes, continue your sabotage BASIL Where was I? MAISIE You fetched your ladder, now get on BASIL Yes, I fetched my ladder and LEILA Was he outside? BASIL When I came back with the ladder, LEILA I doubt he did that on purpose, he BASIL Perhaps. I just doubt my voice [KENSEI returns. MAISIE leaves.] KENSEI The correlation you were talking BASIL (with a huff ) FINN You think my sister has been BASIL Not just stealing, selling too. FINN You’re crazy. BASIL A month after she joined the KENSEI So you’re getting a lesser quantity BASIL And I was never suspicious of it [MAISIE returns. FINN leaves. Before MAISIE sits, BASIL leans over to LEILA.] BASIL (whispering quickly ) LEILA Basil, do you know what type of BASIL I’m not sure. It could, MAISIE No, I can honestly tell you that he BASIL You were all friends with him in KENSEI He’s never acted any differently [FINN returns. BASIL leaves.] KENSEI Well, he doesn’t know we deal with LEILA But he’s leaning towards thinking MAISIE Drugs? Why would he think that? LEILA Because apparently, you are. [There’s a beat of tension. KENSEI and LEILA have similar accusatory/suspicious looks towards MAISIE, who looks shocked. FINN seems uncomfortable and unsure.] MAISIE What makes you say that? KENSEI That incoming money Basil keeps MAISIE (after considering for a FINN Maisie! Why didn’t you tell any of MAISIE It’s nothing personal, it just [BASIL returns. LEILA shoots daggers from her eyes as she leaves. BASIL sits and notes how the other characters are glaring at MAISIE, who is distinctly avoiding eye contact with all of them.] BASIL Did I miss something? MAISIE Nope. [Awkward silence envelops them. BASIL is clearly trying to figure out what could have happened. KENSEI looks like he’s LEILA Basil dear, I’m parched. Could you BASIL Why can’t you get it yourself? LEILA Please? Any dark soda they have is [BASIL grumbles and stands, holding out his hand. LEILA rolls her eyes and hands him her credit card. BASIL exits opposite the bowling lane.] FINN Smart distraction. LEILA Maisie, what the hell? MAISIE I don’t know why you’re so FINN I’m your brother, why wouldn’t you LEILA And what happened to “from one MAISIE I think I would be a little more LEILA You don’t believe that, do you? [KENSEI returns.] FINN Kensei, did you try to kill Basil KENSEI No. LEILA See? KENSEI I tried to kill Basil by [LEILA, FINN, and MAISIE all stare, mouths open. BASIL returns with a drink, placing it on the table and handing the credit card back. He looks around, confused.] BASIL What’s going on? MAISIE (standing with a tight smile) [MAISIE leaves. The characters sit in silence, LEILA visibly enraged. Then, LEILA stands and pulls KENSEI away from the chairs, leaving FINN and BASIL spooked. The lights dim on FINN and BASIL, lighting on a side of the stage where LEILA and KENSEI now stand.] LEILA (angrily whispering) KENSEI (defensively whispering) LEILA Yes, but you tried to kill my KENSEI Yes, but you want him dead now. Why LEILA You didn’t plan anything with us. KENSEI It was a spur of the moment LEILA A spur of the moment decision to KENSEI Calm down, you’ll attract more LEILA Tell me this, Kensei. Imagine he [KENSEI stares at her. This side of the stage goes dark, the light focusing on BASIL and FINN.] BASIL What is going on? FINN Ummm I don’t know. BASIL What are they talking about? FINN I don’t know. BASIL Well what could they be talking FINN I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t BASIL You don’t seem to know much, do [MAISIE returns. FINN practically runs to escape BASIL.] MAISIE What are they doing? BASIL Having a little chat, it appears. MAISIE Ah. BASIL Any idea of what they could be MAISIE Not a clue. BASIL She looks angry. Oh good, they’re [LEILA and KENSEI enter the lit portion of the stage again, rejoining the seated characters.] BASIL What was that about? LEILA Nothing. BASIL Clearly it wasn’t nothing. What was LEILA Basil, leave it alone. BASIL Tell me what you two were doing. KENSEI Stay out of it. [BASIL stands, prompting KENSEI to stand as well. FINN returns, looking hesitant. BASIL, with narrowed eyes, leaves.] MAISIE Leila, what the hell? Why would you LEILA He tried to kill my husband. On. A. KENSEI Again, I don’t see the problem. LEILA He could just as easily try to kill MAISIE And your plan sucked, you should FINN Oh that’s bold coming from you. MAISIE Finn! FINN What? Your brother can’t be mad MAISIE Get over it. And besides, as far as KENSEI With what he knows, he could MAISIE So what, we kill him tonight? LEILA Just ask Kensei to do it, he’s KENSEI Look, I don’t even know if I want MAISIE If I get caught because of Basil, [BASIL returns. LEILA leaves.] BASIL I will not rest until I know what KENSEI It’s none of your business. BASIL My wife is very much my business, FINN Does Leila know everything about BASIL Of course not, but that’s because I FINN You have no proof of her cheating, [LEILA returns. KENSEI storms off to take his turn.] LEILA Before you ask, Basil, I don’t want FINN Okay guys, let’s just calm down. MAISIE Right. Yeah. Let’s just take a deep FINN Exactly, deep breaths. It’s a BASIL Shut up. MAISIE Basil, I hope you – [KENSEI returns. MAISIE stops herself, takes a deep breath, and then leaves.] BASIL Kenny, once my cast comes off, we KENSEI Kensei. My name is Kensei. BASIL The only reason my score is so low KENSEI Whatever you say. BASIL One month from now – two weeks for KENSEI Sure. BASIL And then we’ll see if you can take [KENSEI stands and pulls LEILA off to the side again. BASIL whips his head around to watch them, FINN audibly gasping. The BASIL/FINN side dims again, and the KENSEI/LEILA side lights up.] LEILA What are you doing? KENSEI Making him mad. LEILA What the hell is wrong with you? KENSEI What the hell is wrong with you? LEILA I’m not talking about this. Stop KENSEI He already hates me, why not give [The lights switch, darkening on LEILA/KENSEI and shining on FINN/BASIL] BASIL What the hell is going on? FINN This time, I actually don’t know. BASIL Does that imply you know what (a beat. MAISIE returns. FINN runs to leave again.) MAISIE Again? BASIL He’s playing with me. He’s teasing [LEILA and KENSEI return, the former looking visibly upset. All characters onstage are seated, and there is more uncomfortable silence. FINN returns, and BASIL leaves.] LEILA He has to die as soon as possible. KENSEI Like I said, I don’t know if I want LEILA How am I supposed to live with him, FINN You clearly want him dead, Kensei, KENSEI Fine. But if we work together and MAISIE Deal. LEILA Fine. FINN Yes, sure. KENSEI Good. This ends tonight. [BASIL returns. LEILA leaves.] BASIL Finn, tell me what you know. FINN I don’t know what you’re talking BASIL Oh, but you do know what I’m MAISIE Basil, stop it. You’re delusional. BASIL You’re delusional if you think you KENSEI (aside) MAISIE What do you think I did, huh? What BASIL Making some dirty money off of MAISIE What makes you think that? BASIL I know what happened. How you were MAISIE I was part of a hiring wave, why do BASIL Because no one else has the [LEILA returns. KENSEI leaves.] MAISIE Will you tell your husband to stop BASIL My wife is in no place to tell me LEILA Leave. It. Alone. BASIL If you have nothing to hide, tell LEILA It’s a private matter between BASIL Finn seems to know what it is. FINN Please leave me out of it, it was a BASIL Maisie, are you in on it too? [KENSEI returns. MAISIE leaves without saying anything, visibly frustrated and annoyed.] BASIL What, am I the only one out of the KENSEI You’re overreacting. Do you need a BASIL You think I can’t afford my own LEILA But you need my credit card to buy BASIL You don’t need any handouts either. KENSEI You know when you asked why your LEILA Kensei- KENSEI Maybe it’s because you are one of FINN Kensei, maybe don’t- KENSEI And there’s probably a reason why LEILA Kensei, stop. KENSEI And you know what else? [MAISIE returns. BASIL is fuming and points at KENSEI.] BASIL You’re cheating on me with him, [Everyone freezes.] LEILA No! No, I most definitely am not FINN She’s having an affair with me. [FINN leaves to take his turn. BASIL, MAISIE, and KENSEI process what he just said while LEILA looks horrified.] KENSEI That’s why he was so set on making MAISIE That’s why he knew about Leila’s BASIL That’s why he started acting so [FINN returns.] FINN (after a pause ) BASIL (pats his shoulder, dazed) [BASIL leaves.] FINN Um…guys? KENSEI All this time, I was sitting here MAISIE You’re sleeping with my brother. LEILA I know. MAISIE Friends don’t sleep with their LEILA Friends also don’t hide their MAISIE Finn, how could you not tell me FINN You didn’t need to know. No one KENSEI Is that why you wanted Basil to LEILA In part. But mainly, I was just fed [BASIL returns, still in his stupor. KENSEI leaves, dazed as well.] BASIL When did it start? LEILA Do we have to talk about it now? MAISIE Yes. Let’s hear the answer, I would FINN Three weeks ago. BASIL So you betrayed your injured LEILA It had nothing to do with your MAISIE How long have you had the hots for FINN Maisie, stop it. BASIL Let’s rephrase the question: Finn, FINN Since freshman year of college. Is [KENSEI returns. MAISIE leaves.] BASIL Kenny, you said Finn was set on KENSEI Yes. BASIL You didn’t know about the affair? KENSEI I did not. BASIL What were you talking about? KENSEI (with a sarcastic smile ) BASIL -that he pretended to have a [MAISIE returns. FINN leaves, avoiding eye contact with anyone. LEILA does the same in her seat, while MAISIE and KENSEI keep glancing between her and BASIL. Then, BASIL starts laughing hysterically.] BASIL Do you know how badly you messed LEILA I don’t need anything from you. BASIL (still laughing) [FINN returns. BASIL stands and points at him.] BASIL Just remember, you’re leaving me [BASIL leaves. His laughter is still audible from offstage until he returns onstage, leaving LEILA and FINN especially unsettled. At this point, characters begin to rise from their seats when the director deems most natural; at some point, KENSEI, LEILA, MAISIE, and FINN will all be standing] KENSEI I’m surrounded by liars and cheats. LEILA My love life does not impact you in MAISIE But it impacts me. On two fronts: LEILA Don’t call me a friend. You don’t KENSEI We can at least use our mutual MAISIE Funny, I’m feeling a bit betrayed [BASIL returns, still laughing. He takes his seat, not interacting with any other character. At this point, all the other characters should be standing up. He begins munching on the popcorn on the table while still laughing. The others ignore him.] LEILA Finn, why did you have to tell him? FINN I’m sorry Leila, I was just so mad KENSEI Oh look, at least one of the MAISIE I don’t plan on apologizing because [BASIL chokes. In his maniacal laughter, he has caught some popcorn in his throat. The other characters ignore him as he grasps his throat, heaving to get it dislodged.] LEILA When do you plan on apologizing, KENSEI For trying to solve your problem LEILA You are both insufferable. MAISIE I don’t hear you apologizing for LEILA And we won’t. Right, Finn? [BASIL dies. His body falls with a thud, startling the other characters out of their argument. They stare at his body, glancing between each other and the corpse. No one speaks, unsure of what to do next. Cue the sound of bowling pins clattering] BLACK OUT About the Artist Sally Parampottil is a senior undergraduate English and History major at the University of Texas at Austin. She has acted in and worked tech for middle and high school productions, but TEN-FRAME MURDER is her first theatrical endeavor while in college. While Sally aims to pursue a PhD in History or American Studies, she hopes to continue creative writing.
Ten-Frame Murder
dinner by ourselves without him.
make sure he wouldn’t get
suspicious of Leila.
to be that suspicious of his wife?
caution, Finn, we have to spend the
night with him.
supposed to know he would say yes
to bowling night?
Basil we’re talking about? Of
course he would claim he can bowl
with his other arm, he thinks he
can do anything.
blame for this, but remember, I’m
paying for it. So just enjoy your
free night of bowling, okay? Let me
go pay before he gets here.
Let’s just pretend I have a coupon
for a free night of bowling with a
purchase of popcorn that expires
soon. He’ll say no, and the rest of
us can have a night for fun.
Then we don’t have to lie about
where we are and risk Leila getting
in trouble and it won’t be obvious
we’re excluding him.
lasted being married to him.
initiate this whole thing a lot
sooner. Wonder what finally pushed
her over the edge.
are you so dressed up for bowling?
work. I stayed back late at the
office and figured I would much
rather just wear this than be late.
will come off in another two weeks,
but I can just sense that I’ll be
fine sooner.
professionals on this one, eh?
would ever go bowling unless there
was a coupon like that. Just not my
cup of tea, you know?
I hate when he calls me Kenny.
grab them from the counter and get
your ball.
everyone else to linger
for a brief second as
BASIL walks off stage )
I say we plan it here.
anymore, we need to plan it now or
I’ll snap.
we pull that off?
we do a little bit of planning, and
then we change the conversation as
soon as he’s back.
shoes and balls, he’s gonna think
we’re being suspicious.
I’m so glad you could join us for
it even though your arm is broken!
best friends for the world.
Makes me almost feel bad for him.
everything?
already, so we’ll go Basil, then
Leila, then Kensei, then Maisie,
then me.
butts whooped by a right-hander
using his left hand!
happened to us recently?
talking about that.
higher position, better pay and
benefits.
for a guy in a cast.
Right then, what were we talking about?
man, have you both celebrated?
something nice.
successful woman that you
appreciate her.
wonderful, beautiful, successful,
cheating wife.
sign that he’s mad at LEILA and gives no external hint that anything is wrong.]
how you and Basil should celebrate
your promotion.
long while since our last date.
free, this can be your celebration.
with your promotion?
thank heavens for that.
or spread it out?
for longer, normally I use my days
at the last two weeks of the year.
This time around, I’ll be able to
spend two and a half weeks in
Turkey and have enough time to
cushion leaving and coming back
with time. I should book the ticket
soon though, prices will definitely
go up the longer I wait.
ask Maisie for money. She’s got
more than enough.
would she ask Maisie for money,
you’re an accountant.
more than enough?
for this moment. We have a serious
problem with one of our friends,
and I need to tell you about it.
strange. What is going on?
impact you the most, but I must
tell you the truth about your
brother.
Congratulations. Well, I’m back up!
talking about. Finn, is there
something you want to tell us?
something wrong with you but you
came back before he got to say what
it was.
problem is later, this is one of
our few chances to plan the murder.
by the end of the week?
do it myself.
out so you don’t end up in prison.
way, I’m glad at least some people
in my life have my back.
course we would help you.
friend. We’re here for you.
very sweet, but he’s coming back
and we lost our second chance to
plan.
what you meant.
Whatever do you mean?
tell for sure, but she’s been
acting different lately.
she’s being more secretive.
Normally, I’m able to walk by her
and steal a glance at her phone –
not that I don’t trust her, it just
happens naturally of course. But
now? It’s different, she seems much
more on guard.
you looking at her perfectly normal
and not cheating text messages.
People are entitled to their
privacy.
does she go out shopping nearly
every weekend and return with
nothing to show for all the hours
she’s gone?
previous conversation
wasn’t happening )
You know, that guy has some nerve.
though he didn’t sabotage the best
bowler here.
your cup of tea.
athletic one of the group.
true, how could he have possibly
sabotaged you?
sabotage the bowling game, but he
definitely is the reason I’m not
performing as well as normal.
broken arm?
you talking about during her last
turn?
living?
do, you would know best.
pharmaceutical, Basil I swear if
you don’t get to the point-
I was thinking about this one day
and thought it was a little strange
that she works in the least
profitable sector of the company
but somehow finds funding for her
expenses and trips.
focused on how she spends her
money?
job? So what?
digging and I found out she’s been
receiving funds independent of her
salary for years now, even before
she came to the pharmacy.
our friend’s personal affairs?
Now I don’t care where those funds
come from, I just wanted to know my
dear friend wasn’t in crippling
debt or anything-
Bullshit.
prepared for this. I think your
brother has ties to organized
crime.
that?
little gut feeling.
trembles at the sound of coaches at
a football game because they’re
“too loud” is involved with, what,
the mob?
of things, I tend to give it
credit. Besides, he started acting
weird around me, and I figured it’s
because he knows I’m smart enough
to see through his sweet boy facade
and got nervous. My gut didn’t
tell me he was a part of organized
crime, it just told me he was
hiding something.
feeling, then what?
off the face of this earth.
is wrong with me?
email.
do to make sure he doesn’t figure
out the rest of us are involved?
managed to get into Finn’s email.
Don’t we all use password managers
and extremely complex passwords?
passwords set and memorized, I
didn’t want to go through the work
of changing them all.
password?
guessable?
might be doing?
cheating?
her? Next time she goes out
shopping for a really long time and
comes back without anything, just
ask what she was doing the whole
time.
like “oh, I was browsing but
couldn’t find anything”?
realistic.
investigator.
think?
from the fact that you two haven’t
had some alone time in a while.
You’re getting paranoid for
nothing, just take her on a date.
You might feel refreshed after that
and realize you’re being silly.
supposedly sabotaged your arm?
just “fell from a ladder,” huh?
of us, yes.
Kensei was with me?
cleaning my roof drain that day. I
was going to trim the hedges
instead, but Kensei was trimming
his own when I went outside.
neighbors.
tells me he finished cleaning his
roof drain earlier that morning and
thinks I should too. Something
about how he saw debris in mine
when he was up on his. Now I’ll
admit, I’m not the type to remember
to clean my drain, so I go fetch my
ladder and-
something during my digging.
been doing to your friend’s private
affairs.
of money about a month after
joining the pharmacy.
illegal with all of this?
illegal.
one doing something illegal. I did
some even more digging, because I
am admittedly a very curious man,
and found an interesting
correlation between-
email?
do to your friends.
criminal activity counteracts my
possibly not-quite-legal actions.
that proves Finn has ties to
“organized crime”?
probably wrote on the wrong account
and forgot to delete when he saw
his mistake. I’ll show you during
his next turn.
your account and found a draft
email you wrote on it. There is a
reason we have fake accounts.
worry about it once we kill him.
the murder.
already on the fourth.
sooner than later just in case
Basil runs to the police about
Finn.
how much “digging” he’s doing on
us. Is he suspicious? Why is he
doing all this?
been paranoid. I guess you guys are
just his newest targets?
talking about me too?
quick. I don’t think it’ll get
around to my turn before I get
back, but if it does, wait for me.
poking around because he thinks you
spend more than you earn from your
actual job.
found anything?
his storytelling that he hasn’t
gotten anywhere with it.
saying about me?
something. I don’t know, he was
talking about how you encouraged
him to clean his roof drain. He
didn’t finish that story either.
this is a good time to plan, but
he’s so paranoid now that I think
we need to keep bowling so he
doesn’t think we’re all
collectively being suspicious.
with you as a friend. Basil thinks
you’re cheating on him.
everyone something about everyone.
him?
out shopping so often and then
regularly don’t have that much
stuff when you get back.
This is ridiculous. I’m his wife.
I’m supposed to have immunity from
his delusions.
No confirmation or denial of her
cheating.
out?
any of us know what that other sum
could be?
brother doesn’t know where this
extra money is coming from. You two
are close, if it weren’t a secret
then she would have told you,
wouldn’t she?
relevant.
another operation and doesn’t want
to let us in on the goods.
really think she would do that to
us? Especially to me?
“outing” and mentions a shipment.
The lack of specifics makes it seem
like it was meant to be coded
language, though he didn’t do a
very good job with it. I can’t
imagine any other situation in
which this email would naturally
work.
of a stretch.
this information, Basil?
As of right now, nothing. I need to
do some more research to see if
there’s been missing shipments of
something that match the time of
his email. If there is, I can tip
off the police. If there
isn’t…well, I highly doubt that
there isn’t.
dots between your extra money and
Finn’s mess.
how it might look.
involved too?
probably took it as reason for
suspicion.
ridiculous, that man is ridiculous.
he’s right?
goes to the police with all of this.
the truth of my marital situation
for a while. I’ve been grappling
with what it means for me as a
husband and more so as a man. And
to be quite honest, I can’t think
of a good answer. Be honest with me
– why would someone ever cheat on a
guy like me?
reason either.
That he never spends on his wife.
If you’re visually impaired.
personality.
existence.
story.
with it.
climbed up. I’m scraping leaves all
out of my roof drain and then bam!
It feels like the ladder almost
collapses and I take a tumble. I
see stars, my arm feels like it’s
on fire. I call out! Kenny! Kenny
my friend! Help!(pauses) but Kenny
never comes.
he was. But somehow, by the time I
had fallen, he was gone.
probably finished trimming his
hedges and went back inside because
he was done.
wasn’t loud enough to carry through
inside. I have very powerful lungs,
you know.
about?
Yes, I think she’s swiping
adderall.
stealing adderall?
packaging department, our adderall
supplies decreased by about 10%.
The records say we just downsized
our orders because we had too much
overstock, but the money we’re
spending shows the same price as
with our regular amount.
for the same amount of money?
because no one ever told me about
the change. The downsize is in the
records, but you’d only know our
incoming amounts were reduced if
you actually looked for it.
I don’t know for sure, but those
two might be in it together.
shipments Finn was talking about in
his email?
theoretically, be anything. Maisie,
you’re his sister. Have you noticed
him doing anything secretive? Being
suspicious? Sneaking out ever?
acts completely normal. But
remember, we don’t live together,
so I can’t tell you what happens in
his apartment.
college, right? Has he ever had a
shift in personality or change in
behavior? Or has he acted the same
the entire time you’ve known him?
with me. Are you sure you’re not
just being paranoid?
weapons at least.
Finn’s involved with drugs.
talking about isn’t the stuff we’ve
done together. Apparently when you
got the new job in packaging, you
took an additional one working with
adderall.
few beats)
College kids will pay a good buck
for that stuff. So what?
us?
isn’t up to me. The higher ups
decide who’s in and who’s out, and
since I was recruited to be in, I’m
going to assume the rest of you all
are out.
calculating. FINN looks nervous and unsettled. MAISIE is trying to ignore them all. LEILA returns. KENSEI leaves.]
get me a drink?
fine.
irritated with me. You’re making
enough money as is, I’m the one
whose day job is in packaging.
at least tell me?
friend to another”?
concerned with the fact that Kensei
apparently tried to kill your
husband six weeks ago.
He’s just being paranoid, just
wants to blame someone for his
broken arm. It’s just a
coincidence, Kensei wouldn’t try to
kill my husband without telling any
of us.
by encouraging him to get on a
ladder and hoping he fell?
encouraging him to get on a ladder
and then throwing a rock at it to
make sure he fell.
(A beat)
Nothing. It’s my turn.
You tried to kill my husband?
We’re trying to kill your husband
now.
husband six weeks ago. I didn’t
want to kill my husband six weeks
ago.
are you so upset?
You didn’t tell any of us. You just
went and did something huge like
that.
decision. He walked out, I saw him,
I wanted to kill him, so I tried.
We all hate the guy, I would have
been doing everyone a favor.
kill someone? Do you know how long
it took me to come to terms with
the fact that I want my husband
dead? And you can just make the
choice on a whim? What, could you
kill any of us out of nowhere too?
attention than you already have
with your grabbing and pulling.
fell on his head and cracked his
neck and died. Would you have told
me? Or would you have let me and
everyone else believe it was just
an accident?
about?
know.
you?
talking about?
coming back.
it?
do something so suspicious at a
time like this?
Whim.
us on a whim too.
have at least told us.
that you’ve been holding out on an
operation that could have made us
all a whole lot richer?
Basil knows, you’re involved with
it too, so can we please think of a
way to kill the bastard before he
runs to the cops?
probably run to the police
tomorrow. He could know more and
just not want to tell us because he
doesn’t trust Finn and Maisie.
great with spontaneous murder.
to help the two of you. Maisie, he
found out about your side hustle,
that’s not our problem. And Finn,
if you weren’t so incompetent, he
wouldn’t be onto you either. As far
as I’m concerned, I have no
obligation to continue this plan.
so help me God, I will rat all of
you out.
you were talking about with my
wife.
thank you very much.
every conversation you have? Huh?
have nothing to hide. She, on the
other hand, has some boy toy, so I
have every reason to want to know
what’s going on.
so don’t try and act like she
doesn’t deserve her privacy.
to talk about it.
breath.
wonderful night, we’ve got a great
game of bowling, some popcorn, each
other –
must bowl again.
tonight is because of this damned
arm.
the cast to come off and two weeks
for me to get used to using it
again – we’ll do this again.
defeat as gracefully as I do.
Why did you even marry this guy in
the first place?
causing problems, this is going to
make everything so much worse.
him a reason to hate?
happened the last time?
me. He has to be, right? He has to
be out to get me.
to be involved anymore.
huh? After that little stunt you
just pulled, I can’t even imagine
what the car ride home is going to
be like.
let’s just follow through with
this.
something goes wrong and one of us
ends up caught, we need to swear
right now that we won’t snitch.
about, please leave me alone.
talking about. Just like you’d know
what I’m talking about if I were to
mention a shipment.
could get away with what you did
too. Are you in it together?
Didn’t think he would be so upfront
about it. (normally) You really are
something, Basil.
do you think I’m doing?
drugs, that’s what I think.
hired and then a month later,
portions of our supplies started
going missing. The timeline matches
up!
you think I have anything to do
with whatever you’re talking about?
Any other person in that wave would
have the same “timeline.”
suspicious sums of money coming in.
poking around my personal affairs
and stop insinuating that I’m a
criminal?
anything, going off and having
secret conversations with people.
me what it was about.
Kensei and I.
slip of words.
loop here?
beer? I will even pay for it if it
will calm you down.
drinks? I’m an accountant, I don’t
need your handouts.
me a Dr. Pepper.
wife might cheat on you?
the most unlikeable people I have
ever met.
the only friends you have aren’t
even your friends; they’re your
wife’s.
aren’t you?
having an affair with Kensei.
sure Leila wouldn’t seem
suspicious.
promotion before the rest of us.
skittish around me.
I got a strike.
Congratulations.
thinking Basil had nothing on you
because other than what you do with
us, you have nothing to hide.
friends’ brothers.
opportunities.
about this?
did.
bite it, Leila?
up.
love to know how long I’ve been
kept in the dark about this.
husband? In his time of need?
injury, it had everything to do
with how you’ve treated me for the
past three years.
my brother?
how long have you had the hots for
my wife?
that what you wanted to hear? That
I’ve been into your wife since
before you even met her?
making sure Leila wasn’t being
suspicious?
Oh Basil. No one likes you. We
didn’t want to spend tonight with
you. None of us did. But little
Finn over here was so scared for
his lover-
bowling coupon, thinking I would
have to decline.
up? Do you know how much you’re
going to regret this? We signed a
prenup. You’re not getting anything
from me.
No, of course not. You and your
criminal lover and his criminal
sister and your asshole friend can
go have the time of your lives! Go
ahead, live it up!
for him. Me, me, me, for him.
You’re leaving the smartest man you
have and ever will meet for an
idiot whose email password is
“password.”
the slightest.
my friend and my brother.
get that right either, Kensei, nor
do you get the right to act like
you’re betrayed by Finn and I.
rights to feel betrayed by Maisie
though.
too.
at him and how he treats you and
how he refuses to acknowledge it
and I just blabbed it out. I’m so
sorry.
siblings knows how to apologize.
I have nothing to apologize for.
Kensei?
before you knew you had it? Never,
I maintain that I did nothing
wrong.
your deception either, neither of
you.
