The River Is A Mirror
I could see myself in my grandfather’s eyes. We stood on the east side of the Mississippi River,
gazing out as the city’s skyline reflected upon the rippling waters. I’d always thought the river
was a place that was full of secrets. It harbors them, and then it carries them away. Each bridge
has its own stories to tell, and some bridges have foundations that don’t last forever. My grandpa
said he’s lived a life full of regrets. It’s ingrained in his face. But he’s always been there for me.
He speaks the world of my mother, though she doesn’t speak the world of him. Sometimes I feel
like I’m anchored between them. To be in the middle is to be a sailboat caught between
diverging currents. I guess the war that my grandpa fought in stole his spirit. Maybe you can’t be
a good dad when your past eats away at your brain. If the bridges don’t burn, they’ll sink.
II.
If the bridges don’t sink, they’ll burn. My mom doesn’t wash away hurt and resentment like the
river does. But she’s always been my lighthouse. She would paint the clouds blue for me if she
could. My mom hasn’t spoken a word to my grandpa for as long as I can remember. But she’s
always made sure to keep him in my life. Sometimes I feel like I’m anchored between them. I
asked my mom why it’s always been this way. She told me it’s not so much what my grandpa
did but what he didn’t do. He wasn’t there. We stood on the west side of the Mississippi River,
gazing out as the city’s upside-down skyline reflected upon the calm water, like glass that hasn’t
yet been shattered. I guess the river doesn’t always harbor secrets. Maybe the secrets eventually
come to the surface. Each story has its own bridge, and some stories have foundations that last
forever. I could see myself in my mother’s eyes.
I.
About the Author
Zach Keali’i Murphy is a Hawaii-born writer with a background in cinema. His stories appear in Raritan Quarterly, Reed Magazine, The MacGuffin, The Coachella Review, Another Chicago Magazine, The Vassar Review, FOLIO, and more. He has published the chapbook Tiny Universes (Selcouth Station Press). He lives with his wonderful wife, Kelly, in St. Paul, Minnesota.