When I Wasn’t Enough

Author | Julio Diaz

The fleshlight that my boyfriend bought
didn’t look like me,
It was translucent, soft, and warm.
It didn’t despise him like I did.
Erasing him from every future
We could have had,
He left me empty.
Looking more and more
Like the artificial flesh he choose,
malnurtured, pale, and warm with fever
I become became less human and more object,
Even- time after our ultimate demise, 
I am left without support
As I carry this burden of feeling broken
As Jesus was carried by the cross on which he died.
It’s almost Christmas,-
And I miss the feeling of completion, 
As my insides start to burn from bottled anger
And my outer layers freeze with frost,
My lungs dry up in this weather
Of neglect and solitude. 
And tears start to drop from the sky
Covering my own as I tread
This cold winter rain.
I can’t believe it all started with a fleshlight.

About the Author | Julio Diaz is a current sophomore at UT. He is an English major working on his teaching certificate. Proud Latino who happens to be funny and awkward as heck and slightly gay. He also dreams about murder mysteries, don’t ask why, he doesn’t know.

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