Down There

Characters
ED, early twenties, “male”, college student and football player (safety). Anxious, unassuming; the odd man out on the team. Roped into tonight’s activities because he owes Kyle a favor.

KYLE, early twenties, “male”, college student and football player (offensive lineman). Usually the arrogant prankster type, but spends the entire play trying to cover his tracks. We see nothing but his true colors.

BRADLEY, early twenties, “male”, college student and football player (quarterback). Goofball golden boy, if not the sharpest tool in the shed. Here to help a brother out, no questions asked.

JENNY, appears early twenties, femme, mermaid. The vengeful spirit of a sorority girl in mermaid form. Ethereal yet cold, charismatic yet off-putting in a way that toes the line between “mystical creature of legendary beauty” and “most popular girl in school”.

All roles are race neutral and open to both neurodivergent actors and actors with disabilities.
While the characters of ED, KYLE, and BRADLEY are “men” and JENNY is a “woman”, I encourage
playing with gender and presentation in casting.

Setting
The boardwalk of a coastal town, at the end of a pier. The middle of the night. Modern era. Takes place in real time.

Notes
A forward slash ( / ) marks a point of interruption – the next character begins their text here, while the original speaker finishes delivering their text as written.

Two men at the end of a pier. Midnight.
Both stare into the water, waiting for something to happen.

ED – cargo shorts, t-shirt, water shoes – alternates between glancing across the waves

and pacing back and forth along the pier. KYLE – swim trunks, backwards hat,

sunglasses somewhere – squats at the edge of the planks staring at one spot.

Thirty seconds pass.

ED.
Dude.

KYLE.
Shut up.

ED.
It’s been too long.

KYLE.
Shut up.

Five seconds.

ED.
But /what if–

KYLE.
I swear to god, Ed–

ED.
But we have to do something!

KYLE.
Do what?

ED.
I don’t know, how– how long can he hold his breath?

KYLE.
Not ten minutes.

Three seconds.

ED.
Then…. shouldn’t we– do we– jump in?
Kyle?

Five seconds. KYLE stands. Staring into the water, he pats his pockets. He finds a flask
with something irreverent printed on the side (a la “FEDERAL BOOB INSPECTOR”)
and twists off the top, taking a swig. He pours the rest into the ocean. Three seconds.

KYLE.
Alright. I’m out.

ED.
You’re “out”?

KYLE.
Yeah, dude. We splitting an Uber or what?

ED.
You’re leaving?

KYLE.
Yah.

ED.
But– you– but– we need to help him!

KYLE.
Dude? I feel you. We totally did need to help him. Five minutes ago.

ED.
We didn’t– I didn’t–

KYLE.
He was a good dude. And it is a shame. But we missed our window. And now there is a new window, closing super fast, called the “window-to-get-out-of-here-before-we-are-dealing-with-a-dead-body”.

ED.
But– he may not be– we don’t know, we have to at least–

KYLE.
What?

ED.
Try! Go after him!

KYLE.
Okay. Go.

ED.
Go what?

KYLE.
Go after him

ED.
…Me?

KYLE.
Yeah. Go ahead.

ED.
But.

KYLE.
But?

ED.
I’m the lookout.

KYLE.
So?

ED.
So I was never ‘sposed to get in the water.

KYLE.
But you can swim.

ED.
Not well!

KYLE.
But you can. So. Go ahead.

ED.
…But this was your idea!

KYLE.
And now, it’s my idea to leave. Are you coming or not?

ED.
There’s got to be something else we can do, we could… We could /call someone–

KYLE.
We’re trespassing, dumbass! Did you forget? That’s already bad enough for them to kick us off the team– And you want us to drag our QB’s bloated body up the sand and wait patiently for the cops?

ED.
Shit.

KYLE.
Risk your skin if you want, I’m gone

ED.
But what if he– What if–

KYLE (mocking).
“But but but”, “what if, what if”, oh my God–
I need you to get this through your skull right now, Ed: he is gone.

ED.
Don’t you care?

KYLE.
Of course I do. It sucks.

ED.
You don’t feel guilty?

KYLE.
Why would I?

ED.
You’re the one that asked him to go get it.

KYLE.
So?

ED.
So!

KYLE.

Did I force him?

ED.
Well– No, but–

KYLE.
Did I point a gun to his head?

ED.
He did it for you!

KYLE.
And that was his choice.

ED.
He’s your friend!

KYLE.
He was.

ED.
And you won’t even try?

KYLE.
If he was really my friend, he wouldn’t want me to get in trouble. Right?
You can try. If you want. But I’m not going to jail.

KYLE begins to exit.

ED.
Kyle. C’mon, man! Kyle!
You suck. You know that?

KYLE.
Whatever, dude.

ED.
You can’t just walk away!

KYLE.
Super can.

ED.
What makes you think I won’t tell?

KYLE stops.

KYLE.
Excuse me?

ED.
You heard.

KYLE turns.

KYLE.
You must’ve gotten real brave when I wasn’t looking, Eddy.

ED.
Braver than you.

KYLE.
Jump in, then. If you’re so tough.

ED.
We both know I /wouldn’t be any–

KYLE.
Oh that’s right, you’re useless. You can’t do shit without me, or Bradley, or somebody else on the team backing you up. But when it’s finally your turn to help one of us out, you wanna squeal the second things get risky.

ED.
This isn’t like that!

KYLE.
Are you on my team, Ed? ‘Cause it sure doesn’t feel like it.

ED.
Of course I’m on your team, but– this isn’t running plays or picking up /girls, this is–

KYLE.
You’re right, it’s not. It’s more important than that. This is the moment you decide whether you’re actually gonna be a friend and do /what’s best for the team–

ED.
And leave him??

KYLE.
Or if you’re gonna be a scared, selfish little bitch.
So? What are you?

ED.
…A witness.

KYLE tackles ED. They wrestle, rolling back and forth on the thin stretch of wood.
KYLE ends up on top of ED as his upper body dangles off the side of the pier, held up
only by KYLE’s weight and the fist buried in his collar.

KYLE.
Promise you won’t tell!

ED headbutts KYLE. KYLE groans and shifts his weight, allowing ED to slip out from
underneath him; ED almost falls, but scrambles back onto the deck. Both boys lie
crumpled for a moment, breathing heavy.

KYLE.
Promise…

ED.
Shut up.

KYLE picks himself up, makes a fist.
We hear splashing at the end of the pier. ED and KYLE look over.
Three seconds.

BRADLEY surfaces, gasping and coughing.

ED.
Bradley!

KYLE.
Bro! Hold on, we got you!

ED and KYLE run to help BRADLEY onto the pier. He flops onto his back. Ten seconds
pass as KYLE and ED wait for his breathing to return to normal. Once it does,
BRADLEY – bad tattoos, anklet, speedo – shoots up and pumps his fists in the air.

BRADLEY.
HOOOOOOOOOOOO-WEE! Yooooou almost got me there, Ocean! But BAD BRAD LIVES TO
RIDE ANOTHER DAY! WOO! What a rush!

KYLE.
Dude!

ED.
We thought you were dead!

BRADLEY.
Yeah, right! It’d take more than a bit of water to deprive the world of this fine ass.

KYLE.
Freaking legendary.

ED.
You’re insane!

BRADLEY.
C’mon, I knew y’all had my back! If I’d really been in any trouble, you woulda jumped in.

KYLE.
‘Course, bro.

ED glares at KYLE. KYLE pulls BRADLEY away from the huddle.

KYLE (cont).
Uh, speaking of “having my back”– When you were down there, did you…?

BRADLEY.
Hell yea, dude!

BRADLEY reaches into his speedo and pulls out a necklace, handing it to KYLE.
KYLE hesitates – ew – but takes it anyway, putting it around his neck.
The necklace’s chain is a pale rope/twine, and is spotted with brown stains.

BRADLEY (cont).
You were right, it must’ve fallen off during low tide. It was stuck under a rock, real deep. This is the one, right?

KYLE.
Yes! You are a lifesaver, Bradley, seriously. Thank you.

BRADLEY.
No worries, brother. Although, you could’ve just waited ‘til morning – would’ve /saved some trouble.

KYLE.
No, I– I needed it now. Don’t ask.

BRADLEY.
Oooookay? Whatever you say, man.

ED.
How are you even alive right now? You were down there like twenty minutes!

BRADLEY.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you– that’s not the only thing I found down there! Check this out:

BRADLEY shouts into the ocean.

BRADLEY (cont).
Hey babe! C’mere!

ED.
“Babe”?

KYLE.
You better not be talking to me.

BRADLEY.
Naw, dude. I met someone.

ED.
Down there?

BRADLEY (shouting).
Ocean mama! Come say hi!

ED.
Did you swallow too much water?

BRADLEY.
Wait– Shh. Listen. She’s coming

Splashing at the end of the pier. JENNY – long, twisting locks, seaweed hanging from
her shoulders, dressed either in scales and shells or nothing at all – rises from the water.
Only her top half is visible.
She flips her hair, wrings it out. ED hides his eyes; KYLE stares.

JENNY.
Hey.

BRADLEY.
Baby shark! Swim over, I wanna introduce you to my boys! This is Kyle– best offensive lineman in the state and best bro since grade three. And that’s Ed, he’s– hey, why’re you hiding?

ED.
I’m– sorry, I–

KYLE.
How’d you find a half-naked babe at the bottom of the ocean?

BRADLEY.
That’s the thing, dude – she’s not a babe.
Well, she is a babe, just not, like– a human babe. You get it.

ED.
I definitely don’t.

BRADLEY.
Come on! Isn’t is obvious? She’s a mermaid!

They all look to JENNY. She waves.
KYLE grabs BRADLEY’s shoulders and turns him away from JENNY, then holds three
fingers in front of his face.

KYLE.
How many fingers?

BRADLEY.
Three, what–

KYLE.
Follow with your eyes.

He starts moving them around; BRADLEY obeys at first, then swats them away.

BRADLEY.
Cut it out! What’re you doing?

KYLE.
Checking for brain damage.

ED.
Brad, did you hit your head on a rock? It’s okay, but you have/ to tell us–

BRADLEY.
I didn’t hit my– just look at her! She’s got the seaweed and everything!

ED.
Mermaids aren’t real, Bradley.

KYLE.
Do we have to have the vampire talk again?

BRADLEY.
No, I– How else could I be standing here right now? I was underwater, about to pass out trying to get your stupid necklace unstuck, when she swims up, plants one on me and saves my freaking life! Mermaid-air-bubble-magic shit!

JENNY.
You’re welcome, by the way.

BRADLEY.
Thank you, angelfish! That’s my girl right there. And I won’t have you acting ungrateful, even if you are my bro, bro.

JENNY.
Pretty rude, honestly.

KYLE.
….So. You’re a mermaid?

JENNY.
Yeah.

KYLE.
Where’s your tail?

JENNY.
Underwater. Obviously.

KYLE.
Show me then.

JENNY.
No.

KYLE.
Wha– Bro!

ED.
Why not?

JENNY.
Because I’m literally treading water right now and you’re asking me to “do a flip”?

I’m not your puppet.

ED.
Don’t you want us to believe you?

JENNY.
I know what I am. Bradley knows what I am. Why should I care if you’re too stupid to believe it?

KYLE.
Bro! You gonna let her talk to us like that?
BRADLEY.
…Hey, /babe–

JENNY.
You know I’m right.

BRADLEY.
Yes ma’am.

ED.
…You’ve seen it, though?

BRADLEY.
Yeah, dude! I’m not lying! She’s got a whole ass tail under there, it’s like six feet long!

JENNY.
Stop. You’re sweet.

BRADLEY.
Strongest tail this side of The Atlantic!

KYLE.
Can you stop– flirting? Gross.

BRADLEY.
What’s “gross” about flirting with a hot girl?

KYLE.
I dunno, she’s like– a fish, right?

BRADLEY.
Only half-fish!

KYLE.
Then isn’t this like, half-bestiality?

JENNY.
I’m actually a porpoise, if it helps.

ED.
I don’t think it does.

KYLE.
Does she even have anything down there? I mean for like– you know.

JENNY.
Wooooooooooow.

BRADLEY.
Bro. You can’t go around talking about people’s junk like that.

KYLE.
You know I wasn’t–!! She’s not even a real mermaid!

JENNY.
Yes, I am. And if you’re really so desperate to see my tail, all you have to do is get in the water.

KYLE.
What?

ED.
I thought you wouldn’t show us.

JENNY.
I really don’t care, dude. Wanna see my tail, come see my tail. If you don’t, don’t.

BRADLEY.
It is pretty sick though.

ED.
What– This is– ridiculous, Brad’s safe, we’ve got the necklace– I’m glad you “found love” or whatever, but we’ve gotta go. Say goodbye to your fishwife.

JENNY.
Porpoise!

BRADLEY.
Bro! Don’t kill the vibe!

KYLE.
Yeah, hold off a minute.

ED.
What! But you’re the one /who wanted–

KYLE.
This chick isn’t a mermaid and I’m gonna prove it, alright?

ED.
Why do you care?

KYLE.
‘Cause I won’t be talked down to by some random sea-skank!

BRADLEY.
Kyle!

JENNY.
Harsh. These are your friends?

ED.
We need to go!

KYLE.
Just wait!
Hey. Water witch. Where are your gills?

JENNY.
Right here, genius.

JENNY holds her hair back, revealing gills on the sides of her neck.

KYLE leans in.

KYLE.
Those have gotta be fake.

JENNY.
You can touch them, if you want.

KYLE.
For real?

JENNY.
Yeah. Come closer.

KYLE heads for the end of the pier; JENNY pulls herself up to the edge.
ED stops KYLE.

ED.
Dude– I don’t like this

KYLE.
Yeah, you’re chicken shit, we’ve established that already.

ED.
No! We’ve been here too long, and we haven’t exactly been quiet. Someone’s bound to spot us any
minute. Besides, this girl is– weird.

JENNY.
I can hear you.

BRADLEY.
I swear they’re not usually this bad, babe, I don’t /know what their deal is tonight–

KYLE.
Of course she’s weird, she thinks she’s a mermaid.

ED.
It’s not just that. Doesn’t she look– familiar?

KYLE.
What, like you’ve seen her on campus? I’m pretty sure we’d remember if we had an aquatic cosplayer on the quad.

ED.
Not on campus, exactly, it’s…Doesn’t she look… kind of like… like Jenny?

KYLE pales. He stares hard at JENNY, then turns back.

KYLE.
Why would you say that?

ED.
Doesn’t she?

KYLE.
No. That’s impossible. And don’t ever say that name again, got it?
Are you brain dead? The hell is wrong with you?

JENNY.
Who’s Jenny?

BRADLEY.
Oh, Jenny is–

KYLE.
Shut the hell up, Bradley.

JENNY.
Who is Jenny?

KYLE.
Nobody! So keep that nobody name out your nobody mouth!

BRADLEY.
Kyle! What has gotten into you tonight? I came out here to do you a favor– almost beefed it doing so– yet you’ve been nothing but a total chode this entire time!

KYLE.
Maybe if either of you had a working brain, I wouldn’t have to be! Ed’s over there jumping at his own shadow, and you’ve sold your sack to a beach freak! Now if I could have ten seconds to prove she’s crazy, you’re stupid, and everybody should just listen to me like we always have, we can be on our way. Is that cool?

BRADLEY.
Brother, you better step back before I /rock your shit–

JENNY.
Settle, Brad.

BRADLEY (whining).
But babe!

JENNY.
Listen, Kyle. Your insecurity’s showing– like the bald spot you cover with that hat.

KYLE.
Ohhhohoho you little– I don’t care if you’re a girl /or a fish, I’m about to–

JENNY.
You don’t care whether I’m really a mermaid or not. You don’t care that Bradley and I are in love. You don’t care that this could be one of the coolest things that’s ever going to happen to you. You just want to swing your ego around and pretend you’re the boss. And something tells me that even if you felt my gills, you would still say they were fake, or pretend you didn’t feel them move– Because now, you’ve doubled down past the point of no return.

ED.
Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

KYLE.
You are so dead.

JENNY.
Calm down, Kyle, this is good– I get it now. At this rate, the only thing that would change your mind would be something truly undeniable– actual magic. Right?

KYLE.
You know what? Sure. If you can whip out some real, clear-as-day storybook magic right now, I will believe you.

JENNY.
Like what I did for Bradley?

BRADLEY.
Woah– Babe?

KYLE.
Hold up– you want a smooch?

JENNY.
Don’t flatter yourself. But if it’d help Brad save face, and knock you down a peg, I would show you my– “mermaid-air-bubble-magic shit”, as my love so elegantly put it.

BRADLEY.
But–

JENNY.
Don’t be a barnacle, Bradley.

BRADLEY pouts, but quiets. KYLE looks back at ED.

ED.
Don’t do it, dude.

KYLE turns back to JENNY. He walks to the end of the pier.

KYLE.
How would I be able to tell if it worked or not?

JENNY.
Get in the water. Inhale. It’ll be just like breathing air.

ED.
You’re really okay with this Brad?

BRADLEY.
If it’s what the lady wants….

KYLE squats, leans down to JENNY.

JENNY.
That’s it. Just a bit closer.

KYLE.
If this is some weird way to tell me you got the hots for me, just know… it might be working.

JENNY.
Shut up

JENNY stretches her arms up to wrap around KYLE’s neck.
In the ocean behind her, BRADLEY’s speedo rises to the surface, floating limply.
ED takes a step forward, reaching for KYLE.

ED.
Wait– something’s in the water.

KYLE, ED, and BRADLEY look up;
with a watery plunk, a skull emerges next to the speedo.
KYLE and ED turn to BRADLEY.

BRADLEY.
Huh. That’s weird.
Maybe I didn’t make it after all.

Sudden blackout, quick as a blink; when the lights come back, BRADLEY is gone.
With a vicious growl, JENNY grabs KYLE by the neck and drags him into the water.
ED and KYLE scream as JENNY feasts on KYLE, blood and flesh flying everywhere.

KYLE.
Ed! Help!

ED freezes. Two seconds.

ED runs offstage. JENNY cackles as KYLE gives his final scream; both voices turn to bubbles as the man is pulled under.
Five seconds of splashing. Five seconds silence.
JENNY surfaces, hair and skin stained with watery blood. She has a finger between her teeth and KYLE’s necklace in one

hand as she pulls herself onto the deck, finally showing off her glittering tail. She gnaws the finger absently as she puts

on the necklace. Once the finger has been stripped to the bone, she spits it into the ocean.
KYLE’s flask bobs to the surface.
JENNY laughs. Lights fade.

END OF PLAY.

About the Author

Al Groppi is a queer multidisciplinary theater artist born in the suburbs of Chicago and currently based in Brooklyn. Since graduating with their BFA in Acting from Marymount Manhattan College in 2020, they’ve performed all around the city, most recently The Tank, the wild project, The Connelly and Triskelion Arts. As a writer, their works center justice, metaethics, and abstract deconstructions of personhood. Their plays have been developed in educational settings in both NYC and Illinois, as well as The Rat in Brooklyn. They are a member of the 2025 LibLab Workshop Retreat.