i sobbed into a caseless pillow. every today, the thought of you needing me turns my today, i only allow myself to be everyday i watch your father fall more in other times it makes me ache to return you Jamilla D. VanDyke-Bailey is a 28-year-old, pro-black feminist who uses her writing to provide a voice for silent traumas, and to hopefully create a sense of belonging amongst the misfits. She has had work published in The Southhampton Review, K’in Literary Journal, and the Santa Clara Review. Her collection of poetry, than we have been, will be published by Weasel Press in the summer of 2021.
thoughts before his first steps
tear, a drop of guilt and each gasp a relief.
lungs into two tombstones. i hold my breath when
you stir. fearful. inadequate. broken in.
with you when he’s around. tears surfacing when
my left palm begins to itch under your weight.
love with you, and you with him. i’m a guest to
a love i created. a love i’ve wanted
all my life. sometimes i forget to mind it
to the depths of me. the place where you were mine
and mine alone. where we shared all our laughter
and dreams. when i was all you loved, and you i.About the Author
