Author | Anna Kander
love your brothers and sisters, momma said
carry us like a song in your heart
in high school, i whispered gossip to mean girls
and, on alternate Tuesdays, tried to not to drown
in labels
and expectations
and a labyrinth of dented lockers
that made hollow sounds
when bodies and metal collided
for the thousandth occasion
at the same high school
at the same time
my brother was molested
we didn’t learn what happened ’til years later
after he stopped coming home
on a field trip with an overnight bus ride
two rich boys—also brothers
pinned him in the corner of the high, stiff seat
used some sort of hard implement
one of them held a knife
it scraped the metal frame around the window
screeching metal around a black night
swallowing all those stars
anyway, that’s what I heard
third-hand, from our mother
or fourth- or fifth-hand, if i am counting
the rich brothers
in English, there are at least nineteen words
to describe the sounds of metal
clang, ding, clatter, clunk, clash
drum, echo, jangle, rattle, rasp
jingle, gong, plink, tinkle
crash
wood blocks make dull thumps
strike metal and it sings
releasing sounds sharp like weapons
for avenging
the energy of struck metal dissipates slowly
scientists say that’s because metal is “elastic”
i’d say metal remembers
the oscillations of metal decay—yet linger
my brother went silent; the metal still screams
every autumn, as purple and gold leaves fall
from the copper beech and sugar maples
my brothers and sisters who can travel
return to our hometown
migrating back to the place of our birth, like salmon
until we are someone’s dinner
we will clink forks and knives on the good china
and enjoy a ritual meal
we had all our friends in common
and I’ll see them around town
when I run to the drugstore for shampoo and chocolates
pieces of home that I forgot to bring
tokens of appreciation that somehow slip my mind
every single goddamn year
your friends from high school will ask me about you again
and I’ll say no, he won’t be coming home
no, he won’t be here
for thanksgiving
About the Author | Anna Kander is a writer in the Midwest. Her work is published in Breadcrumbs, Leveler, Hollow Tongue, Ariel Chart, Train, and other journals. Find her at http://annakander.com or http://facebook.com/annakanderwrites